Saturday, March 29, 2008

Why I would not be a sperm donor.

This may cause controversy if anyone reads it, but I feel strongly enough to go on the record saying this. The subject may be distasteful to some people, and if so, I apologize, but I feel a need for this to be said.
I will never be a sperm donor. According to news reports, the number of willing donors is falling, since a child born of a donor is now entitled to find out the identity of their natural, biological father. Some men who would otherwise donate will not do so if they can be tracked down and identified by their children. I can only say, that leaves me cold. I would WANT to know the identity of any person I was father too. In fact it was always my hope that any child of mine would grow up in the same home that their mother and I lived in together. Even before I became a Christian, it seemed bizarre to make possible the birth of a child and not want to know that child, and be there for them.
That feeling is not unique to me, either. Several years ago now, I heard a young woman quoted as saying, she did not know how her natural father could just walk away and abandon her - that is, make a donation and not take any interest in who the resulting child or children were. She had a sense of abandonment about not being wanted by her natural male parent.
Right, I've heard the arguments. I know there is great heartbreak for some people because they cannot have children naturally, and donor reproductive material makes this possible. I'm very grateful that my wife and I did not have this problem. We have five children, all born without any difficulty about the conception at all. Other people wish that could happen to them. I can only say that there are problems in the world I can't help. Take it up with God! How do you know WHAT He might do for you if you turned to Him instead of denying His existence or at least denying that He had anything to do with your life.
There's another issue here, too. I know some women, without even knowing me, would reject the idea of a relationship with me if I was single. The just don't like rather chubby looking white men.Some women (not all) like some men (not all) can be very judgemental in their view of the opposite gender. If you're not rich, super glamorous or world-class talented, you are not good enough for them. And if that is their attitude, I do not feel that they deserve the use of my reproductive material in having a child. God brings children into the world, and it is not, I insist, a thing which should be treated as a commodity.
Without over romantisising about, a child is LITERALLY a union of their two parents. They receive genetic input from each. They really do represent a uniting of the man and woman they have as parents. Given that, the existence of a child stands for something more than a transaction of convenience. There are reasons why Christians consider it sacred.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

I completely agree!