Why I would never enter my daughter in a beauty contest.

It's not for me to say beauty contests should be banned - this is a free society, or supposed to be. Child pageants are a little different from adult ones because the child is entered by their parents. It may not be their own choice. Still, I won't presume the right to say they should be abolished. But I'm quite sure I would never ever have entered my daughter in one. The reasons are pure and simple: my daughter has a value that is NOT subject to some kind of assessment by a panel of judges, and she should NOT be made to feel less worthy than some other girl because when she is compared with them she wins no prizes.
Last night's television included a documentary segment on these 'little Miss sunshine' type of things - the sort that JonBenet Ramsay was involved in. There were brief interviews with some of the little girls who did not win anything. It was quite cruel to see the look of sad bewilderment in the faces of some of those little kids who had just been made 'also-rans' by this contest, which they had probably spent hours, days, weeks preparing for. We would not do that to our daughter.
Of course, you might challenge me by asking: if I was sure she would win, and it turned out she did win, might that be different? Okay, I should examine my conscience about that a bit. Would it thrill me to see my little girl made to feel like a winner? Answer: "Yes, but... there should be a better way than that." It would not be a good thing if she valued herself in terms of beating other contestants in an exhibition of looks and grooming, or trained deportment of the sort that could be considered personal flaunting. It cannot be a good thing for a person to make a life out of 'look at me, aren't I wonderful'.
It's an old cliche to talk about 'not judging by appearances'; 'looking beneath the surface for the real person', and so on. But it's also quite true.
The good things in my life include 29 years of marriage to a woman who is beautiful to me, but in her childhood was overshadowed by her younger sister, who was considered the beauty of the family. I would not swap my wife for her sister, for one minute. Other privileges of mine have included the friendship of several women who were never going to make a career out of modelling; but they had warm kind hearts of the sort that the world needs. Among them, the female people I've liked and appreciated as friends, have the following list of things that would count against them in a beauty pageant: crossed front teeth, buck teeth, flat chests, short thick legs, eye sight problems that require them to wear thick glasses, a lisp, being a clothing size 20, frizzy hair that could never really be styled...and I could go on. The point is, those women are my friends. They cared, and I was better off in life because they were there for me. Some more widely admired women seem to have little time for anything except themselves and what they want. That is not to say that a woman with an attractive face or elegant figure can't have a good heart as well. It's just that physical beauty is really just physical, and to mistake it for likeable character is one of the oldest and stupidest mistakes in history.
Of course, some people do not make the mistake. They quite deliberately value a person for the way that person looks. The cynical attitude is that someone who looks good might be good to be seen with. Just as some men are said to have 'trophy' wives, some women look for husbands who are a social asset. It must be a rather empty way to try having a relationship! That someone gets admiring looks, and it makes people jealous of you to be seen with them, does not mean you can feel safe and complete being in their company. You cannot have a heart to heart talk with them. What that tells us is, that to be hooked on personal appearances makes you a slave to them, and you have to spend your whole life keeping them up; and if the loneliness and stress of it proves to be too much, well..is that why some celebrities have such disastrous personal lives? I won't mention names; but the media devote hours and pages to scandal stories about singers, film stars and celeb sports people crashing and burning. It's either alcohol abuse, drug addiction or having serial relationship break downs. The pressure of being seen and watched, and having to keep up an image, must be seriously destructive. The interest in celebs' problems might be a bit to do with jealousy; but being glamorous, and living by it, comes with it's own set of problems. Right, now someone could tell me I'm into sour grapes- I never had the chance to get a life by being a glamour celeb. My reply: I've got a life that works quite well without it. And it seems the better way to go. So my wife and I would tell our kids the same thing - and for that reason, we never entered them in beauty contests, baby photo competitions or any of that. There are much better things to do. They don't need to feel like failures for not being Mr Universe or Miss Australia. Their value is God given.

Someone I knew said that fiction was a waste of time. I was a guest in his home, so I had to be tactful. But that was one of the most oafish, small minded comments I've heard in my life. Fiction is how a whole dimension of the human spirit stays alive.
The quote was "A good book is the life blood of a precious literary spirit." It was in the front of a poetry book. Flowery prose, but I think it's quite true. Every human society I've heard of has a culture of story telling. It might be verbally recorded, stored in human memory instead of written down. Some cultures, such as the Australian Aboriginals, did not have a system of writing. The stories were memorised and taught. In early Europe, bards or minstrels made a life's work out of learning stories and telling them at gatherings. It may be spoken rather than written,but it is still a body of lore that they kept and shared. Writing makes it easier to keep these stories. The stories may have a moral, like Aesop's fables. They may be intended to inspire, like the hero myths about Hercules, William Tell, Robin Hood, or Davy Crockett. Some are intended to teach spiritual lessons. Or stories might be part of a body of spiritual belief. The story of David and Goliath is part of history, also treated as a stand-alone story.
Someone pointed out that stories, like films, let the reader experience things in their imagination that they cannot in real life. It broadens the mind. It might provoke thought, too. Sometimes the written word has changed history. Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in protest against slavery, and arouse enough feeling to demand change. Slavery was abolished. Beecher Stowe's novel was not solely responsible but it made a difference. Books of fiction can inspire, as well as entertain.
Anyone is entitled to choose their own interests. Reading fiction is not what everybody wants to do to relax. But to those who like it, nothing else will do. Fiction, stories, are part of the mind's life blood.

God gives all

I've got really involved in blogging in the last few weeks and it fascinates me to find some of the sites I have. I'm encouraged to make a bolder stand on one issue. I am a Christian, and anyone is welcome people to know the fact. If they prejudge me because of it, so be it. If they find me more approachable because of it, better still. I'm really humbled by the dignified way some Christians declare their faith by posting psalms, Christian testimony and topical discussion of the subject. I find myself praying for people I've never met and may never meet in this world, but will know in the hereafter as it is sometimes called: the Kingdom of God. Perhaps one reason God let humanity develop the technology that makes the internet possible is because praying Christians can find and reach out to each other in a way not possible before. One thing I know: it is fascinating discovering and sharing with people in this way.